Meme'd again

This is a Splotchy story meme -

Why am I doing it?

Cause I think I can write a better Splotchy story than anyone else.

I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen.

(You start your story like that! Oh my God! How utterly droll. Do you have no understanding of how to write a dramatic opening scene. Obviously not. Oh well I'll try and spice it up from here on)

Frozen Applesauce could only men one thing. Apple man was back in town.
Yes that gawd awful Apple-man. Always with his stupid pal The Fishmonger. You can smell The Fishmonger before you meet him. Apple-man has blocked sinuses so he doesn't smell The Fishmonger at all. Lucky him.

So I went without breakfast and decided to hunt down Apple-man and kick his ass.

(See how much better the story goes now. We've got an antagonist and a protagonist. We also have a stinky side-kick for comedy relief as well.)

I found Apple-man at his favourite hang out the Orchard Bar.

It was a dark and dingy place. The kind where scum like Apple man like to hang out at. You'll find all kinds at the Orchard Bar. Low life's, White trash, and of course nefarious villains and their stinky side-kicks.

White Trash and Low Life's

"Why if it isn't Splotchy, our favourite little play thing Fishmonger." said Apple-man sarcastically.

"Yeah! You'd think he hadn't had his breakfast." replied the stinky Fishmonger.

They both had a little chuckle. I let them.

"Your buying me a new can of Applesauce." I tell them.

"Oh really and just how are you planning to make us do this." scoffed Apple-man.

I pulled out my revolver and aimed at Apple-man's head. "Will this do?" I asked.

"I don't believe you have the guts to do that Splotchy." says Apple-man a thin wicked smile on his face. He takes a sip from his drink, just to prove that he doesn't care.

So I shot him.

I made applesauce out of his large apple head. More than enough for many breakfasts.

End of Splotchy story.

I choose not to Meme anyone else, cause some people hate meme's.