Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Oui? We? or wii

So Fury and Falstaff took the three of us out to the Helicarrier and gave us a full briefing of the take over. It took a while and was your usual evil plan. Bad guys plot to take over a country without anyone noticing, abuses of power, people paid off or killed. They used the mobile phone network and an internet worm to get control but thing that activated the brainwashing sounded wrong.

"It all came to fruition when the wii was first played with..." said Falstaff

"You mean Oui? French for yes. Don't you?" interupted Christine.
Falstaff sighed.
"No I mean w-i-i its Nintendo's latest gaming console." explianed Falstaff.

"They called it a wee. Gee who was naming it Pee-Wee Herman?" joked Henchy. "Or worse was it some crazy Japanese executive with a urine fetish dreaming of kids playing in...."

"Henchy!" I shouted."Whats wrong with you? You used to be this hard ass mercenary, now you acting like frat boy."

"Hypothermia and concussion makes you a bit different Koma." replied Henchy. "That and having two hot librarian type chicks after you. Am I wrong? No?" He kept silent after that.

We're transfered to a submarine which will take us to Australia. Queensland to be exact.

The plan is that we are going in through the back door. And in northern Queensland you can't get anymore back door. Its full of rednecks and drugged out hippies. We get out of the inflatable that brought us to shore and Falstaff bids us goodbye.

"I've sent four teams before you." He begins in a somber tone. "They didn't come back. Make sure I don't have to send more."

"Hey all my Dad said when he died was 'At least your not gay.'" declared Henchy.

Two days later we were at tourist trap known as The Gold Coast. Its got a lot of really tacky gimmicks.
One of the best know are the bikini clad parking inspectors.

"This country is the best!" exclaimed Henchy excited. "I'd just wait in my car all day to get a ticket from those girls."

"They have guys too Henchy." I tell him. "You could have get a parking ticket one of them."
Christine laughs.

We continue walking and are confronted by three of the meter maids.
"You will wait here for the Quarantine Task Force. They will see to your innoculation." ordered the lead bikini clad meter maid. There's something familiar about them, a level of flawlessness with these women.
"Oh crap!" I sigh. "They're synthoids." My sensors confirm this.
"Sensor sweep detected." the lead maid skwaks.
"Why did you do a sensor sweep?" complains Chroma.
"Reflex. Sorry, they're just so flawless they had to be synthoids but I've been wrong before." I apologise.
"Next time think before you do it." corrects Chroma. "We're supposed to be doing this covertly. Lets just hope we can avoid making a scene."
"Source identified - Captain Koma." skwaks the meter maids in unsion and their eyes go red. Which always means violence is coming.
"Call enforcer Titan-12." sounded off the lead meter maid. Then the three started a hideous series of screaches.
Chroma goes steel and kicks the lead maid the others continue screaching.
"Do I have to do this all by myself?" snaps Chroma.
"Sorry." I answer. I draw my blaster and take out the remaing two maids.
"Dude couldn't you have reprogramed them." complained Henchy.
We ignore him because something else is a bit weird. No one is running away from us or is taking pictures, the cops are just passing us by.
"Innoculation. Mobile Phones. Wii's. Synthoids." I mumble to myself.
Then something strange happens. All the people on the beach just get up and walk away. Calmly as if they all just decided to leave then and there.
"Mind control!" I exclaim. "Innoculation, Mobile Phone's, Wi-Fi. They've used the current signals around to control the whole population."
"Yeah but why are they all leaving?" asked Chroma.

"Um Guys I think thats the reason why?" said Henchy pointing to the large robot monster emerging from the ocean.
Oh carp!


Nepharia said...

They're leaving because they are smart :D

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Kick the monster in its tenticles!