Friday, June 30, 2006

Interpution AGAIN

While I wait for Magneto to continue with whats happening in DC. Here's something I think you'll all agree.




You Are Bert



Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!



You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you



You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil



How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others



Yes Koma is the Bert of the Blogosphere.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Pyros frozen assets

Logan relases his hold on Koma.

"Alright Bub." Starts the ragin Canadian. "If ya can help us with the tin cans ya'd better make it it snappy an' no funny business or I'll gut ya."

"Logan! He killed Rouge....." said Kodiak.

'Note to self : don't poke the bear' thinks Koma.

Logan clams down Kodiak. And goes over to Rouge who's bleeding heavily.

'Note to self : Don't piss off Magneto' thinks Koma.

Rouge takes Logans hand and she starts to heal.
"What just happened." Asked the shocked Kodiak.
Rouge just looks down. "I can take others' powers by touch Ah can't control it. Ah can never touch anyone!"
She pops bone claws out and takes out her rage on some robots.

The rest of the X-men kick into gear, Koma watches them attack.

"Hey you gonna just stand there Brainiac" shouts Kodiak.
"Wha-" starts Koma who quickly realises he's not there to be a bystander."Oh of course."
'Damn I'm gonna have to get the synthoid reserves in on this one. I have made them stronger and with more offensive capabilities but I still haven't fixed the speech protocols.'
He winces as he teleports in the reserves.

The portal opens and the synthoids race out and join in the fray.
"I'm the baby!" shouts one.
"Poopie!" yells another.
"Aww crap!" yells Koma as he covers his face.

The Martian and the other heros start waking up from Skys dreams. They join the battle and the Cyberdyne machines are destroyed. Even the T-1000's were nuetralized by Dr. McCoy.
'Note to self : Send McCoy big thank you for Lin.' smiles Koma.

Koma watches the battle end and starts to teleport his synthoids out as well as the nutralised T-1000's. When he notices the Martian comming towards him.
'Oh crap time to, hey I thought I telelported Pyro.' questions Koma as he sees Pryo sneak up behind the Martian.

Pyro blasts the Martian.

Koma smiles as the Martian writhes in pain.

Iceman arrives on the scene and blasts Pyro freezing him.
"Yeah baby!" shouts Iceman. "I beat you in real life and the movies loser!"

As the heros tend to the injured Martian. Koma teleports himself and the frozen Pyro away to Magnetos lair.

"Welcome back Koma." its Mystique.
"Thanks Mystique. Look Pyro's been frozen by Iceman what do you guys usually do to revive him. You know, some kid of thing like Luke Skywalker was in in Empire Strikes Back..." Koma stops as another Pyro walks out from behind Mystique.

"Hey Koma, great ta meet anotha Aussie in the team." Pyro stops. "Thats me in ice. But I'm here."

"Yes what have you brought here Koma?" asks Mystique.

The frozen Pyro's eyes glow red. The ice starts to melt.
'Krack, Froom' the ice breaks. The frozen Pyro starts to change. Into.

"Lin" asks a stunned Koma.

"Yes honey, its me." answers Synth-Lin. She skips up to Koma and hugs him. "I got the Martian for you."

"How?" asks Koma.

read Lins blog, Wolvies blog, Mangnetos Blog, Xaviers Blog

A World Cup Tragedy

So close and yet so far.
The Australian Football team the 'Socceroos' are out of the World Cup. After making the World Cup finals for the second time, 32 years since our last trip to the finals. We are out at the round of 16 in the most tragic of situations.

The Italians lost a man in the second half to a red card. Australia controlled the play, had more shots on goal. But it was in the last seconds of the match a penalty was given to Azzuri.

Now that penalty was cruel and unusual punishment. Football (roundball as I call it) is a cruel game and it just doesn't cut it with the Australian sense of fair play. In the Australian psyche its just not right when you control a match and dominate so much and still loose. The jumpers on the bandwagon will jump off again, but maybe they'll be few who will stay on the roundball bandwagon. Play it, enjoy it, and encourage others to play it.

No other Australian football code has something like the World Cup. Sure Rugby Union and Cricket have world cups and the cricket one is huge, but nothing is as huge as the Football World Cup. It binds a country in a way no other sporting event can. I have heard people say that they have felt more Australian since watching the Socceroos. And these people are true blue 6th and 7th generation Australians of English decent.

Personally in the little country theatre that I watched Australia's games, I have never felt more connected with a group of people as Australians before. Nationalisim is dangerous, but you can have pride in the endevours of your country-men and women in a way that makes you proud to be from where they are from. To know that you too were born in the same country as those who are running around giving it to the likes of Brazil, Croatia, Japan, and Italy. And not just fighting hard to make the grade but actually equaling them or even playing better.



Thanks Guss and the Socceroos for a fantastic ride. The adventure was great while it lasted. It had to end sometime, but why did it have to end like this?

Monday, June 26, 2006

Cometh the hour cometh the Koma

Koma wakes up on the battlefield from the Headbut from the curvacious Power-Girl.
'Whoa that was painfull. Hope its not all over and I'm in some sort of prison hospital or something like that.' he thinks. He looks around at the battle still raging around him. Like all evil geniuses he sums up the situation in his own selfish way.
'Nope still in the battle. Better find a way to get Lin and get the hell out of here.'

Sky appears above him.

"What happened?" he asks the machine he doesn't really trust but as long as she's on Magentos side he knows she wont kill him.. yet.

"No time to explain… Help Magneto!" she snaps.

Koma looks at her.
'She's not in total control right now. It could be that Ultron entity trying to take control'

Sky glares at Koma. He knows what that glare means.

Koma reaches for his synthoid controller but its gone.
"S$#t!" exclaims Koma. He checks the sensors in his battle suit.
(The battle suit is kinda like a mix between Iron Man's and Luthors but more streamlined.)
'All the synthoids but Lin have been destroyed. Great. All I've got is the gizmos I've made. So here goes.'

Then all of the sudden the remains of the synthoids and T-800's start merging together. I formed another machine.
"All of you pests will be exterminated by Ultron!" the large evil looking robot shouted.

I looked over to the X-men, they were looking at the Ultron.
"Now I have what I came for!" Ultron cried. He grabbed the unconscious female robot and blasted off into the air. All the Terminators stopped moving, frozen in place.

The X-Men looked around at each other, momentarily confused by what had just happened. That was all the time Magneto needed. He raised up a broken robot arm with his powers and hurtled it like a spear straight at Rogue. Before any of us could react, it drove straight into her chest. Kodiak howled with rage, just like a bear.

For the first time ever Koma thinks faster than everyone else. Activating his teleportaion device he teleports Magneto away Magnetos Lair. The looking for the person he needs he teleports right next to him on the battlefeild.

"W..Wolverine" her stammers fearing the worst.
'Snikt' the claws pop and the feral mutant has Koma up against the tree. All claws are out expcept the middle one.
"Now Koma ya such a waste ta kill. So do something and give the excuse to pop my third claw."
Koma gathers himself together.
"Logan you think I dumb enough to take YOU on physically." shouts Koma."Theres a bigger picture here. Those T-800's. All the machines out there, Sky doesn't have controll of them anymore."
"Why's should I care?" asks the impatient mutant.
"Those machines will kill everyone if not stopped so we all have to help each other right now. I'm not talking about us here, there starting to fan out right now. See!"
Koma points to the T-800's starting to reactivate and walking off in formation towards a group kids who have needles wearing t-shirts saying 'Death to Muties' and other anit mutant slogans.
"So truce right now while we get the world out of the fry pan." states Koma.
As Logan thinks up comes Kodiak who's heard all of it.
"Stick the brianiac Logan and lets got get that bastard who hurt Rouge" says Kodiak.
In the distance the T-800's get closer to the kids.
"Logan?"
"Stick him he's with Magneto. If you don't I will." says Kodiak.

read Lins blog, Wolvies blog, Mangnetos Blog, Xaviers Blog, TX's Blog

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Helping out Magneto

Teleporting into Magneto's lair Koma finds himself in the middle of the gathering forces.
'Oh crap I try to get out of this type of battle. Hope Lin's ok better ring her' thinks Koma.
He gets out his phone and calls his synthoid sweetheart.
"Hey honey how are you." enthuses synth-lin. "Its really messy here those heros are really untidy."
"I'm fine I'm at Magneto's." replies Koma.
"Oh thats great honey, I'll be over soon." Chirps Lin.
"Maybe not Lin, its going to get really nasty here. Magneto's going after Washington. I reckon he'll go ok." continues Koma.
"Is my Komy scared?" digs Lin.
"Hell yeah." confirmns Koma. "I just hope the new synthoids work better than the old ones."
"Honey your a genius and without that ugly Ultron in the way I'm sure it'll be a peachy battle" confides Lin.
"Well Magnetos just about to set it all into motion, gotta go Lin. Bye" ends Koma.
"Bye bye, I love you." gushes Lin.
"Love you too." says Koma as he hangs up.

'These new synthoids are so much more stronger than the old ones and they have no links to Cyberdyne. Lin's right they'll do fine.'

Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Martians Attack

Relieved, Koma sits back and realxes watching the World Cup. On the phone to Magneto who he is teaching the game.
"Yes thats it. You've got the offside rule right now. Glad to be of help sir. Anytime sir" as he hangs up the referee gives another stupid free kick against the Socceroos.
"Ohh greatBlasted referees they keep holding the Ozzies back. They call me a criminal, man how much did they pay these referees. Thats gotta be a sweet job just sit back and give the frees to the side Australia plays." says the critical Koma.
"Komy, we have company!" announces synth-Lin.
"Coming!" Yelled Koma. "Let me finish scheming with Magneto!"
"Okay, but he's green, and doesn't look bery paaaaaaaaaa--" Screamed the synth-Lin.
Rushing because of the scream of Lin he arrives to se her lifeless body on the floor, with the Martian above her holding the now useless battery.
"What? The Manhunter?" he starts. "Manhunter, you will pay!"
"All I ever did was dis you on my blog but now you've gone an done it.." Koma stops because behind the door he hears another voice
"Open up, ya poozers!" Yells the voice.
"Kilowog?" responds the surprised Martian. "Then Swamp Thing assembled his Strike Force!" He said as he opened the door.
There were Zatanna, Power Girl, Kilowog, the Bulletteer, Frankestien's Monster and Frankenstien's Bride!
"Oh great" muters Koma under his breath. He presses a button on his belt and the concentric circles wraps around Koma and instantly he is gone.
"Great we turn up to kick this poozers ass and he does a dissapearing act on us." comments Kilowog dissapointedly.
Then alarms start sounding.
'Koma has left the building by emergency teleportation. All heros in the lair are asked to vacate in an orderly matter or they will be attacked by synthoids.'
"Hey we still get to fight." replies Kilowog.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Yes another world cup post.

Yes we interupt the adventures of the evil genius that is Captain Koma for another piece of nationalistic sporting glory.

We drew with Croatia, were into the second round.

Whoo Hooo.



Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie, Oi oi oi.

This is just too good to be true.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The big steal.

The plush inner sanctum of the bank managers office oozed luxury.
With sugar dripping off his tounge the manager (who looks like Colonel Klink) addresses the young lady opposite him.
"Miss Lohan we are so pleased that you would grace our humble bank with your valuables"
"Well I didn't choose your Bank for no reason. You have looked after Madonna's personal jewelry and she said you were more than accomadating." relpies the synth-Lindsay.
"Of course we did our best for her. Many celebreties use our vault. We here at Eurobank realise that some people require extra special service." enthuses bank manager Klink.
"Well thats why I'm here." The synth-Linsdsay stands up and places the briefcase on the managers desk. "I need you to take care of these." she opens the briefcase revealing a stunning ruby encrusted titanium necklace with matching bracelets and earings.
Smiling like the Cheshire cat manager Klink inspects the jewelry.
"Well take very good care of these Miss Lohan. You have no worries at all. We have never had a succesful robbery here at Stalag 13, oh my. Eurobank."

Later that night in the vault of Stalag 13 (Darn it.) Eurobank. The vault is quiet. Then there is a slight whirring of machinery. The small locker where the jewelry is being kept rattles and vibrates. So hard it vibrates that the door opens. The briefcase falls to the floor. It opens showing the jewelry. Suddenly light emits from the rubies forming a series of concentric circles in the air. They merge together and a hole in time space is formed and out walks Koma and synth-Lindsay.
"Not bad huh! Not bad at all." smiles Koma. "This is the first plan to go right."
"I thought it was a bit complicated." replies synth-Lindsay. "You could have just sent in the synth-army and walked off with everything."
"Smash and grab isn't me. I'm more, inventive. Aren't I Lin." says Koma suggestivley.
"If your talking about you switching between positons 34 and 12 last night well.."
"Yes thats what I was hinting." Inerupts Koma. "Lets just hint that were at it like rabbits Lin."
"You're so cute when your embarresed Komy."
"Thanks Lin."
Koma brings out a small device. Presses it. Sound waves concentrate on the lockers on the wall. The doors all open at once.
"Hah Scarface was wrong. First you build the woman. Then you get the money. Then you find a way to get revenge."

They take the money and valuables from the vault and take it thorugh the portal. When finished Koma presses a button on the briefcase and he and synth-Lindsay hop through the portal back to the new lair. After their departure the protal expands and the circles start to come out of synch with each other. The circles wildly expand and contract and then they hit the metal of the vault. The explosion shatters the vault.

Back at the lair. Koma and Lin count the cash from the heist.
"Now that was great. I'll ring up Joe and tell him I can afford him." says Koma.
"You have enough to pay for Henchmans dental as well." adds Lin.
"Well thats great."
'Ring Ring'
"I'll get it this time Lin." he Picks up the Phone."Magneto, oh Hi sir. Ohhh that well Yes . Thats true I do want to take Sky down a peg or too. But I wouldn't kill her. Its just that she's the reason why I couldn't beat the X-Men. The Cyberdine equipment you gave me kept screwing up. Ok, I'll come over. See you then. Bye."

"Hon are you all right." asks Lin

"No I'm not. I think we're both gonna loose out on this Lin." replies the shocked Koma.

The new lair.

"I really like the look you've give the new lair Lin'" compliments Koma. "Its sort of Brady Bunch meets evil genius I love it."
"I did it all for my Komy" replies synth-Lindsay."I worked so hard."
'Ring ring. Ring ring.'

"I'll get the phone Komy" the synth-Lindsay picks up the pastel 1970's phone."Hi you've reached Captain Koma's new secret lair. Yes, he's here. Who am I oh I'm his very personal assistant. Its for you. Its some guy called Joe."
Hurriedly Koma snatches the phone from the synth-Lindsay."Joe how are you, your intrested well thats great. Did youknow Henchman's already in. Oh. Ok. I'll get back to you." Koma put the phone down dissapointedly.
"Honey whats wrong" asks synth-Lindsay.
"That was Joe Fixit. He wants to get paid for helping with my Sky problem. The problem is I spent all my money on this place. Making sure its competley hidden from Sky." He throws his hands up in the air."What do I do?"
Synth-Lindsay starts to massage his neck.
"Thanks thats great Lin'. That really helps."
"I could do alot more Komy." she whispers in his ear."I could make you a very happy super-villain. Really happy. Dr.McCoy programmed me with all these positions. Which one do you want to try first."
"Eureka!" Jumps up Koma.
"Thats not a programmed position Komy, but if you'd tell me I'm sure I could do it." enquires the compliant and very willing synthoid.
"Thats not a position I've just worked it out. I'm a super-villain and what do super-villains do."
"They make love to their synthetic mistresses." suggests synth-Lindsay.
"Yes they do that but they also steal large ammounts of money. I'll have Joe on board in no time."
"Oh thats great." enthuses synth-Lindsay.
"You bet Lin', not a moment to loose. I have to prepare the rest of my synthoids with the new specs I got from you and and and." Koma is stopped in his tracks. As the sunth-Lindsay is doing what looks like a complicated Yoga position. "What are you doing Lin."
"Oh position number 35, but it'd be better if you joined in."

We stop here a moment as Koma realises just what synth-Lindsay was made for. We'll get back to the robery next time.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Survived...... just

He enters his lair, shaken but not skewered.
'Ok lets get my thoughts together.' he thinks to himself.
"Why didn't the short little bastard and his demon clone kill me.?" he asks to noone.
A voice answers. "Well maybe he was saving you for me?"

"I know that voice, but that can't be...Lindsay?" he averts his eyes.
"Its me alright. You've been waiting for this... No I've been waiting for this." She comes closer to him. Takes his hand.
Still averting eyes trembling he starts."Comptuer this is a synthoid isn't it."
'Yes' replies the machine.
"Her." He starts but corects himself."IT'S skin is warm!"
"Dr.McCoy made me lifelike. I look, sound, act and oh I feel very real" answers back synth-Lindsay.
She grabs his hand and takes it towards her...
"No!" he snaps his hand back."Computer, how come my synthoids aren't like her?"
"Don't you like me Komie honey." her look is one of regret. "Dr.McCoy said you'd love me."
'Non compliance error' replies the machine.
"What? Non compliance." questions Koma.
"Don't you Love me." The synth-Lindsay rushes Koma and embraces him passionatley.
"I iii-if" stammer Koma. "If I say yes, will you just stay still for a while?"
"Of course darling." answers synth-Lindsay.
"Then Yes. Ok yes." replies Koma.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwww mwa" synth-Lindsay kisses Koma. "and I love you too."
"Then remember your promise, umm. Honey" reminds Koma.
synth-Lindsay releases Koma "Oh of course"
"Computer whats a non compliance error?" asks Koma.
'Non compliance error response is used when Cyberdine systems are unable to reply to answers that will reveal plans set by Skynet operations.'
"Next time I'm getting my systems run buy Linux." he grabs synth-Lindsay's arm."Lindsay we're going on a holiday. Starting now."
"Where are we going honey." asks synth-Lindsay.
"Somewhere Skynet can't find us."

The two walk off into the sunset. Together. For now.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Outisde the mansion

The semi-trailer pulls up outside the gates to Xaviers School for Gifted Children.
Outsteps the villain of this blog. He views the home of his victims. For a scant seconds he hesitates.
'Do this and it will all come down on me like a house of cards.' He thinks to himself.'I could die. Ahh forget it.'
"First strike force assemble" Koma commands."
The rear of the trailer opens and out comes Silver Samurai, Sabertooth, Electra, Lady Deathstrike, Omega Red, Mystique, Avalanche, Blob, Sky and Magneto.
"Good my synthoids. Very good. Now begin the first part of my plan."
The synth-Magneto turns to Koma."My original will not like you copying him."
"He'll get over it. Now act like your really him and order your troops into action." replies Koma.
"Where will you be?" asks the synth-magneto.
"I'm not telling you. You could tell them IF they beat you. Now get going." snaps Koma getting back into the semitrailer and getting the hell out of there.

Synth-Magneto alights into the air."You heard the master. Samurai, Sabertooth, Lady Deathstrike, Electro."
"Electra" snaps back the synth-Electra.
"Appologies my dear. Electra. Get into the mansion and kill all who get in your way.
We will wait here for the response."

The four stealhily dissapear in four different directions into the mansion. When they are gone the synth-Magneto addresses the rest.
"Come lets away. While the X-babies are having fun with those playthings we'll do what we should."

Lets see what you do with that.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Intermission

We interupt this transmission for a gratouitous (who cares hows its spelt) piece of nationalistic World Cup ferver.

Happy Tim Cahill Day!!!!!!!!


3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1.

Timmy Cahill walks on water.

The Japanese cheated (by falling to the graound whenever an Australian player touched them. The refferee was a GIMP. But still they done us all proud. And most of all Tim Cahill scored twice.

Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie, Oi oi oi
Ozzie ozzie ozzie, Oi oi oi
Ozzie Oi Ozzie Oi
Ozzie ozzie ozzie, Oi oi oi

BTW - Koma will be back and this time its personal.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Ok that didn't work

Slumped in his chair in front of a large bank of monitor screens, is Captain Koma.
'What went wrong?' he contemplates. 'I'm sure I got the schematics right. Something went wrong, what?'
"Computer the recheck vitals of the synthiod Jean01." he commands.
"Re checking vitals Jean01." replies the harsh computer voice.
"Recheck complete." declares the computer.
"Was the bio-matching correct for Jean Grey." asks Koma
"100% match" replies the computer.
"Thats impossible, the synthoid was too old and looked like she had been smoking drinking for 40 years." retorts the Captian.
"Age, eureka." shouts Koma exultantly. "Age acceleration for Jean01."
"Age acceleration was set at 250%"
The villain slaps his forehead. "What a doufus I've been. With that setting of course she would have been that old, and getting older every minute."
"Was the trailer trash setting on." he asks again
"Yes" replies the computer.
"Were the settings changed from the last synthoid created?" questions Koma
"No"
"Oh great and I Ieft the setting from when I made Paris Hilton" he complains.

"Computer reset age acceleration to on all synthoids to equal bio-match details. Remove trailer trash setting. Oh yes and start work on synthoids Braddock02 and Shadowcat03."
"Changes made. Synthoid creation commencing,"
"Time to start again and this time, there'll be no stuff ups."

Sunday, June 04, 2006

In the lair of Koma

The smell of molten metal fills the air. The musty odour of burnt flesh, the rythmic sound of large banks of machinery working. Working on the synthiod army of the not so well known villain Captain Koma.
He stands hunched over a half complete synthoid, softly singing to himself.
"Everybody's got a point of view and the right to their own opinion. So don't be scared of what I'm gonna do, when you let me know your intuition."
'Beep, Beep' sounds one of the cocoons on the far wall.
"Ahhh... she's ready." smirks the villain.
He walks over to the cocoon. Presses a sequence of buttons on the control pannel.
'Beep Boop Beep, Hishhhhhhhh' The air locks relase the door of the cocoon.
She emerges and stands in fron of him.
"Hah, this is going to be such fun?" Hypothetically asks Koma. "Isn't it Jean Grey."
The synthoid leans her head to one side, and give the villain an evil smile.
"What are you programmed to do Jean?" prompts Koma.
"Kill Wolverine, my master." replies the Synth-Jean.

Villain tag team

If Mr Leshner's kind request is real then I'm about to pinch hit for the majors. X-Fools watch out for Captain Koma.
Now where did I leave that She-Hulk synthoid.
Ah there she is.

thanks to the www.incrediblehulk.com for the pic.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

So the martian has gotten away

So I trapped him disguised as his own God. Hey that wasn't easy. I've never been able to get a picture of H'ronnemer so's I just made mysel look a green god. And the only green god I could think of was....

Yes the sensational She-Hulk. Now all I had to do was make a synthetic she-hulk and the martian was hooked lline and sinker.
Now let me tell you he was in NO DOUBT that the synthetic She-Hulk was not H'ronnemer. I can tell you he was thinking of going to hot sweaty green heaven with the synth She-Hulk. However I screwed up some of the internal functions (I had no idea he'd try a move like that. Hey I didn't know where everything goes on a martian woman) so after he found the external settings (I thought H'ronnemer was a guy) he knew the trap was on.

So because I didn't study Martian physiology 101 I lost the martian. I hope those Bizzaro's have a better chance.

There's got to be another way to get back at the Matian and his Obscurians.

Long live Lindsay Lohan