Oui? We? or wii

So Fury and Falstaff took the three of us out to the Helicarrier and gave us a full briefing of the take over. It took a while and was your usual evil plan. Bad guys plot to take over a country without anyone noticing, abuses of power, people paid off or killed. They used the mobile phone network and an internet worm to get control but thing that activated the brainwashing sounded wrong.

"It all came to fruition when the wii was first played with..." said Falstaff

"You mean Oui? French for yes. Don't you?" interupted Christine.
Falstaff sighed.
"No I mean w-i-i its Nintendo's latest gaming console." explianed Falstaff.

"They called it a wee. Gee who was naming it Pee-Wee Herman?" joked Henchy. "Or worse was it some crazy Japanese executive with a urine fetish dreaming of kids playing in...."

"Henchy!" I shouted."Whats wrong with you? You used to be this hard ass mercenary, now you acting like frat boy."

"Hypothermia and concussion makes you a bit different Koma." replied Henchy. "That and having two hot librarian type chicks after you. Am I wrong? No?" He kept silent after that.

We're transfered to a submarine which will take us to Australia. Queensland to be exact.

The plan is that we are going in through the back door. And in northern Queensland you can't get anymore back door. Its full of rednecks and drugged out hippies. We get out of the inflatable that brought us to shore and Falstaff bids us goodbye.

"I've sent four teams before you." He begins in a somber tone. "They didn't come back. Make sure I don't have to send more."

"Hey all my Dad said when he died was 'At least your not gay.'" declared Henchy.

Two days later we were at tourist trap known as The Gold Coast. Its got a lot of really tacky gimmicks.

One of the best know are the bikini clad parking inspectors.

"This country is the best!" exclaimed Henchy excited. "I'd just wait in my car all day to get a ticket from those girls."

"They have guys too Henchy." I tell him. "You could have get a parking ticket one of them."

Christine laughs.

We continue walking and are confronted by three of the meter maids.
"You will wait here for the Quarantine Task Force. They will see to your innoculation." ordered the lead bikini clad meter maid. There's something familiar about them, a level of flawlessness with these women.
"Oh crap!" I sigh. "They're synthoids." My sensors confirm this.
"Sensor sweep detected." the lead maid skwaks.
"Why did you do a sensor sweep?" complains Chroma.
"Reflex. Sorry, they're just so flawless they had to be synthoids but I've been wrong before." I apologise.
"Next time think before you do it." corrects Chroma. "We're supposed to be doing this covertly. Lets just hope we can avoid making a scene."
"Source identified - Captain Koma." skwaks the meter maids in unsion and their eyes go red. Which always means violence is coming.
"Call enforcer Titan-12." sounded off the lead meter maid. Then the three started a hideous series of screaches.
Chroma goes steel and kicks the lead maid the others continue screaching.
"Do I have to do this all by myself?" snaps Chroma.
"Sorry." I answer. I draw my blaster and take out the remaing two maids.
"Dude couldn't you have reprogramed them." complained Henchy.
We ignore him because something else is a bit weird. No one is running away from us or is taking pictures, the cops are just passing us by.
"Innoculation. Mobile Phones. Wii's. Synthoids." I mumble to myself.
Then something strange happens. All the people on the beach just get up and walk away. Calmly as if they all just decided to leave then and there.
"Mind control!" I exclaim. "Innoculation, Mobile Phone's, Wi-Fi. They've used the current signals around to control the whole population."
"Yeah but why are they all leaving?" asked Chroma.

"Um Guys I think thats the reason why?" said Henchy pointing to the large robot monster emerging from the ocean.

Oh carp!

We get back on track

Hi Christine here.
Its been a fortnight since we helped the X-men beat Nemonock and Koma put Xavier's Brain back in his body. Koma got all personal and went away to think about what comes next. I went and had some fun at Logans expense. It was more than worth it. When we finally got back Xavier got intouch with his contact. It was this guy.
Nick Fury he's sometimes black and sometimes white. Also sometimes he's this guy too.
Koma told me that was just some idiot fan at the 1999 Comiccon. Anyway we meet him and he's all cloak and dagger saying that yes he knows whats happened in Australia and that he has two main sources for this information.
"So when do we meet them?" demanded Koma being quite forward. He'd been getting rather frustrated by the fact that Fury would see him earlier. In fact he'd was about to start breaking into the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier when Fury rang to confirm the place and time for this "little chat" as Fury put it.

"Come with me." said Fury plainly ignoring Koma's demand. We follwed and were ushered into the standard black SUV that you get in secret agencies these days.
In it was Henchy.
"Hey Koma how's it hanging!" greeted the backstaber.
"You!" I growled. I was about to launch at him when Koma grabbed my hand.
"Chirstine, you can hit him next time." he offers.
"Bro's before Ho's, eh! Koma." snaps Henchy back.
"No she'll bash you later. I've already wasted too much time." replied Koma coldly.
"Cold Dude!" remarked Henchy.

Henchy told us how he'd escaped from "Major Dad" as he called my father. He'd gotten into a bit of trouble with both Annabel and Alicia Quest. They'd both tried to help him escape at the same time. Within the confusion of this Henchy was able to make his own escape.
"This Henchman ain't gonna be tied down." he decleared. Then adding. "But theres more than enough to go around if you know what I mean." He put his hand in the air for a high five from Koma. Koma let it hang there.
"Dude don't leave me hanging." pleaded Henchy. Koma didn't reply.
"You said there were two sources?" said Koma changing the subject.

"Yes and were almost at the safe house." answers Fury. The SUV stops and we get out.
"Park Avenue you got me holed up in a rat infested motel 6 in Jersy." complains Henchy.
"Must have felt like home." I reply.

We walk in and Fury leads us into a huge apratment. Its got big guys with dark glasses and ear phones all over the place. They all acknoweledge Fury as he walks in. Inside there's a group of Australian dignitaries some I know others I don't. Its Koma who recognises the one Fury has brought us here for first.

"Falstaff!" he exclaims."You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Austin, Christine you've finally made it back, and 2 years late." replies Falstaff.

After party celebrations

I'm sitting in the bar of the Shi'ar Battle Cruiser. They call it a recreation area and they serve a decent fermented nectar drink thats got a nice kick to it. So for me its a bar. I always like to have a drink after surgery and having just put the Professor's Brain into his body. I felt I deserved a drink or two.
It was quiet, just me and the bar guy.
Peace and quiet after all that action with the X-men was exactly what I needed. I had to gather my thoughts. Beating Nemonock was a good thing. Always good to put upstarts like him in their place. As for if he's actually dead meh! As if I care.
I had to get back to the task at hand, saving Australia. Fortunately Xavier was very happy to get his brain back into his body. He said he'd help me out.
After I'd had enough quiet I went to find Xavier and then maybe Chroma. I'm sure she'd be past the victory celebration and be looking for me too.
I found Xavier and Lilandra in the Royal suite with Jon IG most of the X-men. I told Xavier about the problem in Austalia and that I needed verifiable information on the truth of the take over.
"I know just the person who has his finger on the pulse. I'll put you in contact with him when we get back to Earth." he smiled a wry smile. "Oh and Koma about revealing that I use the chair for sympathy. Forget about it."
His eyes were mesmeric....I was doing something gee that nectar drink really has a kick.
"I think I've had a bit too many right now Chuck." I excused myself and went to find Chroma.

She was out on the promenade watching the stars.
"Hey." I say casually making my relaxed presence known.
"So you've had enough peace and quiet huh?" she asked.
"Yep!" I reply as I put my arm around her waist. She didn't pull away or move my arm. Thats a good sign.
"I just want to stay here for a while and watch the stars." she tells me. I'm cool with that. For a while.

Standing there my peaceful platinum paramour beside me and the glory of the cosmos. It was perfect.

Then the ship shuddered a bit. My sensors were patched into the Battle Cruiser and told me an esacape pod had launched.
"What number escape pod launched?" she asked.
"22." I replied. "How did you know that was an escape pod?"
"Oh Wolverine wanted to get back to earth early. So I gave him a going away present" she smiled wickedly.
"What?" I asked.
"Oh I may have found Scott and told him that Emma was waiting for him in Escape pod 22, naked." she laughed.

I laughed too.
I'm not saying it to her now. But I love this woman.

A ride on the Danger Sled

"Thats it! Next time I see that dirty Carny she's dead." screamed Chroma.
We were standing back in New Jersey looking at the blown up remains of the X-Jet. Read Wolverines Blog.
I was thinking about calming her down and then she went steel and began wailing on the remains of the X-Jet's fuselage.
"Damn f$%#ing Mutant!" she screamed.
My sensors detected a space ship. And not just any ship, the Danger Sled of Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator.
“That damned bitch, where did she go?” continued my very passionate girlfriend. I let her deal with her rage and went to see Jon.
“Hey what’s going on?” he asked his hair crisp and blowing in the breeze.
I told him what had happened up till now and he said he'd been in a fight with Nemonock.
“Well let’s go get him,” i replied.
“There’s room for two more on the Danger Sled.” replied Jon.
“Then let’s go.” ordered Christine. She'd had enough of destroying what was left of the X-Jet and wanted to wail on something else. I knew the look in her eyes she was biding her time and when she let go I didn't want to be there.

We got out into space and made our way to where Nemonock's ship was. Jon insulted Chroma with some stupid quip about not needing a sports bra. If I didn't tell her not to she would have made sure Jon would have needed hospitalisation.
We got out into space and made our way to where Nemonock's ship was.
there was another space craft out there a Shi'ar battle cruiser.

“The Shi’Ar?” Chroma asked.

“Yeah, a race of bird people,” Koma explained. “They’ve got a pretty big galactic empire and oh yeah, Xavier and their queen have the hots for each other.”

“I can imagine why they’re here then.” she replied with a guffaw.

We got on the Shi'ar cruiser and Chroma made a bee line for The Scarlet Witch.

"I'm going to kick you in the head!" she growled.
"You can try." Wanda laughs. "But you will find yourself as Darkseid's new harem girl if attempt it."
Storm broke it all up and soon we were getting the help of Lilandra the Queen of the Shi'ar and one of Xavier's ling line of unsatisfied ex-girlfriends.

I suggest that we use my technology to get on the ship. We get on there easily and quickly but Nemonock was waiting. Him and his crazy woman had plans for us.
“Pocket android henchmen just add water!" teases Gun Nut.

"Just what I need something to hit" rejoiced Chroma.
Her and Logan went to town on the Automaton Henchmen.

"Thats a non-unionised labor force you better make sure that Henchy don't find out?" I tell Nemonock.

"Think I care." snapped back the evil Psychiatrist. "I'm a super villain remember you gave me my certificate."

I knew that one was coming. This brain's gonna find out why I'm called Captain Koma. I draw out my Neural Destabiliser and fire at Nemonock.
"Eat this!" I spit.

Witches Bitches

"How in the world did the X-Jet blow up?" It was all I could think of on my trip down to the ground. Austin's anti-gravity belt worked like a charm and better than a parachute too. The explosion didn't knock me unconscious, however Austin was. I found him on the ground his face relaxed as if he didn't have a worry in the world.
"He-he!" He chuckled.
I wondered what he was chuckling at.
"Austin wake up." I said to him.
"Huh! wha!" he began but he soon recovered. "Oh yeah X-Jet blowed up real good. Did the others survive?" He asked.

I pointed over to where Cyclops was hugging Logan. Storm also was just alighting from the air with the brainless Xavier.

"Great the gangs all here. I can get a portal up and running in two shakes of a lambs tail." Koma started doing his Felix the cat impersonation pulling a briefcase out of his coat. He opened the case, but we were interupted by a woman in red and pink.

She was all over Logan. What is it with these women and this hairy little man? Sure a nice amount of sexy stubble on the face is cool but all over shag-pile, ugh!
"Its the Scarlet Witch, Magneto's daughter." Koma whispered.
"What is Magneto's daughter doing here?" I asked back a little too loudly.
Then Cyclops told the Gypsy that I'd kicked Logan in his manhood and she turned me into a frog.
Really where's the imagination in that? You get pissed off and you turn someone into a frog. She's got crazy Hex powers that are unstable and she got rid of almost all the worlds mutants. Then oh she'll turn you into a frog. You see this is what inbreeding gets you.

Koma did his polite Hugh Grant thing and was able to convince Gypsy Rotten that I'd apologise and she turned me back. Sucker.

Storm brought the wicked witch up to speed. Then she sat down started babling and then announced that she'd found Xavier and would take us to him.

Now Koma hates magic. Its random, it often doesn't work and its just not logical. I didn't like this up-tight Euro-trash but if she was going to make it easier to find Xavier then why not.

First we went here.

Then here

Nope not here.

Hang on weren't we here before.

If this next one doesn't work I'm going to kick her in the head.

I am a total genius

I'm blowing my own trumpet I know but when you can do what I can do you just gotta flaunt it.
"I've done it!" I announced to the group around me. I wanted to scream He's alive but that just seemed a bit too far. That and the fact that I might have scared Cyclops again. Though he seemed to be elsewhere in his mind while all this was happening.
"He's walking?" replied a stunned Storm.

"We'll yeah the whole wheel chair thing is fake. He does it to pick up chicks." I tell them.

Storm looked at me and then at Logan. Logan nodded.

"Oh! That explains a lot." she said as the penny dropped.

"So now I've been able to keep Chucks body functioning you can go look for him." I say wrapping up my part in another chapter of X-men history.

"No!" blurts out Cyclops. "The Professor says you'll be needed for us to beat Dr Nimmock or something. He Told me where he is. Come X-men follow me and we'll save the Professor."

Cyclops ran out of the room and no one followed him.

"Is he for real?" asked Chroma.

"Yeah he's got a few issues. " answered Logan. "But if Chucks told him where he is then we better get him."

So with that we got on board one of the many X planes to save the Professor.

"Christine you should put this on." I give Chroma an anti-gravity belt. "It wont give you flight but it will make sure you float down safely."

"Why are you giving me this now?" asked my nordic mistress of steel.

"Well this is an X plane they usually get blown up in mid air by the bad guys." I explained. "If its Neemonock behind all of this he'll shoot us out of the sky before we get close."

"Oh!" replied Christine. "But I can survive a fall in my steel form."

"Not if your unconscious." I tell her. "Just making sure, you know."

"Thank you Austin." she gave me a little peck on the cheek.

"You two wanna get a room back there?" grumped Logan.

"Chroma and Koma sitting in a tree..." began Cyclops.

Fortunately his childish taunt was cut short by the X-plane exploding.

Bringing peace and understanding through war

I was busy examining the brainless Professor when Logan walked in. He threatened me as I expected him to do. I was about to tell him what was happening when Chroma attacked

Now I'm always impressed when she decks someone but I never thought I'd see the day when she'd sucker punch Logan through a wall. As impressive as that was I knew it was the start of a really nasty fight. Of course I didn't tell her that I was impressed by her punching Logan did I. No I went and complained that she'd gotten us into a fight with the X-men.

"Why did you do that?" I whined. "That was Wolverine. Now there's going to be a big stinking fight with the X-men."

"That was Wolverine? I always thought he was taller." My powerful paramour pronounced.

"We came here to get some help so we could confirm that Australia had been taken over." I explained trying not to be condescending. "We didn't come here to find out whether you could beat Logan in a fight."

Chroma didn't reply cause coming out of what was left of the wall was Logan.
"Heh! Not bad a punch. Your building them sex-bots tougher these days Koma." chuckled Logan in way that suggested I'm gonna kill you next.

Chroma was silent her teeth were clenched. She was angry at being called a sex-bot, no not angry. She was indignant and the one thing she hated the most (apart from when I forget to massage her feet) was that people thought I'd made her. In her eyes it was in insult to both of us. She always took it hard, and now she had an opportunity to release that fury out on someone.

"So does she have them machine gun breasts like in Austin Powers?"asked Logan

"No I don't." replied Chroma. "But you might be sporting your testicles on your face."

"Oh I like it when they talk dirty Koma." Logan licked his lips.

After that it was on.

Chroma usually fought intelligently but this time she was pissed of and launched herself at the Canadian. Size and weight were on her side but Logan is the best at what he does and... ah! you all know how that goes.

The noise brought the rest of the X-men to the Professors office. Fortunately one of them was Storm.

"Koma what are you doing here?" she demanded of me. I've always had a crush on Strom. She's got that regal bearing thats so damn sexy.

"I came here for help. Logan started a fight with Chroma." I began.

"LOGAN! Cease this brawling." commanded Storm. Lightning flashed in the office and the following thunder was deafening.

Logan stopped but Christine didn't. Seeing she had an opening for one last shot she kicked Logan in what Henchy likes to call "the little boys".

Logan doubled over in pain and everyone tried to suppress the oncoming chuckle. Cyclops however didn't.

"Now you said you wanted Help?" asked Storm.

"Yes and I believe we can help each other." I answered

Finally this could be going somewhere

Oh! So thats Wolverine.

The ride through the maelstrom was worse then when we did it in that stupid ship Austin made.

"Its gonna look real weird." Austin shouted over his shoulder. "If you get freaked out just close your eyes."

The colours were amazing, it was like a kaleidescope. The colours changed and broke off into a myriad of patterns. They moved like smoke and flowed like water and then all of the sudden turned solid like a wall of stained glass. It looked like we were about to hit it. I tightened my grip to Austin's waist and pulled myself closer so I could see his face. His eyes were already closed.
"Austin!" I screamed.
"What?" He screamed back his eyes now open.
"Look out we're going to crash." I pointed at the wall approaching rapidly towards us.
"Its not there." Austin shouted back. "Your brains making up stuff because it can't find anything that it recognises."

"Koma we're going to hit it!" I screamed and lunged at the controls. The scooter swerved to the right but the wall was too close and I braced myself for impact.

Nothing happened.

I thought a heard a chuckle from him.

"Did you laugh?" I accused.
"No but I am smiling. Just close your eye's we'll be finished this ride in a few moments." he answered.

And in a few moments I couldn't hear the maelstrom, everything felt calm and warm. There was the smell of Cognac, old books and cigars. I opened my eye's and we were in a study or a den. Then my I saw someone I thought I recognised.

"Isn't that Professor Xavier?" I asked Koma.

"Yeah! But somethings wrong here. He hasn't noticed us or even told me to get lost. Which is very unlike him." answered Koma as he got off the scooter.

"Chuck! You there." addressed Koma. He walked right up to the Professor and waved his hand in front of his face. No response. He checked the Professors pulse.

"Hang on whats this. Its some kind of suture mark on his head. Oh my God!" he exclaimed and pulled out a small device like a tuning fork out of his coat.

"Whats wrong Austin?" I asked still on the scooter.

"His body is functioning normally but his brain, its not there." replied Koma surprised.

I was going to ask how that could've happened when the door to the study burst opened and standing in the doorway was a little furry man chomping on a nasty cigar.

"Koma! I thought I told you...." He stopped and sniffed the air. "What you done with Chuck?"

Snikt! His claws unsheathed from between his knuckles.

In one sudden movement I'd changed into my metal form and was striking the little furry man with all my might. He flew through the wall of the study.

"Why did you do that?" whined Austin. "That was Wolverine. Now there's going to be a big stinking fight with the X-men."

"That was Wolverine? I always thought he was taller." I answered.

I love a plan that comes togther

I'd like to take credit for this plan but its all Henchy and Annabells idea.

I woke up in the cell. There wasn't a mirror but I was quite sure that I had huge black eye.

Damn, Henchy and his realism.

I hear a few knocks on the wall behind me.
I knock back and the wall is hot.
"Ouch!" I wince. "Some genius you are can't tell between metal warping and someone knocking." I tell myself.

I get up and watch as the metal heats up further and the line of the cut begins to glow red. I'd forgotten that Christine was a demolitions expert. She's always been quite capable with an oxy-acetylene torch.
Then with a final punch the hole opens like it was made of cardboard.

"Are you coming?" It wasn't really a question from Chroma.
"Aren't you a little too female for a Stormtrooper?" I quipped.

"Just for that I will NEVER wear the slave-leia costume you got me." scolded Chroma.
"A Man only has a few dreams woman and your taking one of those away." I grumbled as I climbed into the elevator access shaft.
"Maybe next time you'll stop the pithy quips." snapped back Chroma.

"If you're gonna act like an old married couple do it on your own time." complained Alicia.
We completed the rest of the climb down the elevator shaft in silence. Alicia was still connected to the bases system and was able to open the elevator doors. We walk into the storage room and the my retro space ship is still there as is the slipstream gate.

"How long do you need?" asked Alicia.

"About two minutes and then I'll be gone." I tell her.

I get the portal running. But I need a something to get me to my destination. Especially with there being no connecting portal. I have two minutes to go and scavenge something from the retro space ship. I had something prepared just in case the ship broke apart and we had to get home from the maelstrom. Its kinda like a a space scooter but a bit lame

"The elevators started Koma." says Alicia.
"Damn your Dad's got a decent sixth sense." I curse.
"Yeah and He'll be worse when we leave." she says as she grabs onto my hips.
"We!" I reply.
"Yeah we." Answers Chroma she flips the controls on the scooter and we're off into the portal.